Caught in the act

Last night's "after" the PTA meeting discussion turned to what happens when junior catches you and Daddy. We haven't been caught (that I know), but that's probably because we are slackers or at least more paranoid about making sure the kids are asleep. I hear the sex increases when the kids are a little older and less likely to crawl in bed with you in the middle of the night. But then they get old enough to stay up late and, if you are the worrying type and your bedrooms are close, you never have it again until they go to college or you get a hotel.

But apparently others are doing it enough to get caught.

One woman's husband explained that "Mommy has a tummy ache, and I'm helping her." Seriously? What happens next time the little guy doesn't feel so good and wants Daddy to "help" him?

Another's husband (why is it always Dad doing the talking in the story?) said, "We are exercising." How many calories does Dad really think he is burning?

My favorite actually comes from several years ago. Another preschool mom and dad had been caught in the act. Mom quickly explained that it was a "Married Hug." I was kind of impressed. It seemed like a great way to put it at a preschool level, convey your values (at least the ones that showed up when you had kids) and it got you out of explaining the whole thing.

And it was a great idea -- until her 3-year-old daughter started knocking over boys on the play yard, climbing on top of them and telling them that she was giving them a "married hug."